Cake Boss inspired things to say during sex:

tobiscuits:

  • We’re gonna dirty ice it
  • EEEeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy
  • This is my brother in law, Joey
  • I don’t think it’s going to fit through the door
  • What a great reaction

officialunitedstates:

there should be more colors, I think


Rabbit and a… foot massager.

Rabbit and a… foot massager.

Rabbit and a… foot massager.

Rabbit and a… foot massager.

Rabbit and a… foot massager.

pemsylvania:

EVERYONE GET ON THE GROUND THIS IS A ROBBERY *tries to take pen chained to desk* FUCK

wizardick:

alternatively if someone asks you what you did today just grimly look down at your hands and say “something I should have done a long time ago…”

officialunitedstates:

my next birthday will be submarine themed.  it will be in a submerged submarine and everyone has to ruin their dresses and tuxedos to swim down to the hatch and I either let them in or they have to swim back to the surface.  inside we eat shrimp and the only conversations allowed are submarine-themed.  AWOOGA AWOOGA AWOOGA blares over the intercom

officialunitedstates:

me after I drop my ice cream cone on the ground http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07P0mXOjKBk

officialunitedstates:

when you step in the shower but it’s still too cold so you have to back out real quick: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07P0mXOjKBk

caseyanthonyofficial:

I love coming back to tumblr after being gone all day and seeing what’s going on. It’s like what’s up pals? Whats good? What’s the skinny?

denchgang:

amoyed:

hey where my baes at

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denchgang:

amoyed:

baes, not bees

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